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Pink Moon (Monoku)

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Here is my attempt, very much a first attempt, at one-line (monoku) haiku. Inspired by the Supermoon - the pink moon of last night.

“A high-quality one-line haiku is like a focused laser beam that can pierce through dense layers of thoughts. This is where I find its value. While three-line haiku has this ability to quiet the mind, even for a moment, I find one-line to be even more effective in allowing the reader to embrace the gap between thoughts. Our day-to-day duties comes to a standstill, just for a moment. Welcome to the world of one-line haiku.”

July 2015, Jacob Salzer, Managing Editor of Yanty’s Butterfly (courtesy Alan Summers)

———————-

 pink moon  shadows crowd the spaces
 magpie nest  the blackthorn winter passes over
 sunshine after rain the forest stretches
 my backyard  a winter wren fills the space
 murmuration  sound of pebbles in the backwash
 sunrise  the cuckoo’s call fills the room

Postscript

Alan Summers has kindly featured me in his  ’The Area 17 Profile Poet Series’  where you can read these haiku, and more, with added commentary

———————

The photo was taken on my iPhone and digitally enhanced (colour balance) in photoshop.

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Alan Summers
April 9, 2020 12:22 pm
Reply to  Clive Bennett

Yes, it’s weird how many haiku publications get spammed or hacked, when there are bad corporatists out there to annoy instead!

I don’t have a record of the comment, but if you do, please do go ahead and post it, even under your post, quoting me. 🙂

There was a permission included. 🙂

Alan Summers
Call of the Page

Alan Summers
April 9, 2020 1:07 pm
Reply to  Clive Bennett

That’s a shame, it wasn’t a generic post.

I’ll attempt to write something tonight. We have been incredibly busy even before the pandemic.

Great post, and I’ll be back!

Alan

Alan Summers
April 13, 2020 12:33 pm
Reply to  Alan Summers

Between us we have a lovely feature I’ll put up onto my Area 17 blog before the month is out.

In the meantime, have fun reading a Blog guest feature:

The Area 17 Profile Poet Series: Hemapriya Chellappan

warm regards,
Alan
Call of the Page

Alan Summers
April 27, 2020 10:20 am
Reply to  Clive Bennett

Lovely!

I’ve also added those two monoku from The Area 17 Profile Poet Series: Clive Bennett
to this post: https://area17.blogspot.com/2016/12/travelling-single-line-of-haiku-one.html

All new haiku are added towards the end. There’ll be new monoku from a Swedish Haiku Society poet at a later date too!

warm regards,
Alan
co-founder, Call of the Page

Alan Summers
April 13, 2020 11:58 am
Reply to  Clive Bennett

Call of the Page started being twice as busy in January and it’s increased! It’s been amazing, and uplifting.

We just got a food delivery as I had a letter from the London Government about not going to the supermarket in person, despite being virus free! 🙂

I guess both having read a lot of dystopian novels, and watched movies, from 1960s onwards, and The Walking Dead and Fear the Walking Dead, plus my previous experience of national states of emergency while in types of security jobs, has so far paid off. I even wrote a haibun about checking out explosives, and just had published a haiku sequence about the pandemic.

I’m glad communities are working closely together now, and here I think our own MP (who is or was a Whip) seems to have disappeared.

Alan

Alan Summers
April 14, 2020 8:50 pm
Reply to  Clive Bennett

If you have the comment that’s missing, that’s great, otherwise, I’ll post something on my blog. This week is packed with work, but I will try next week to post them.

It’s 24/7 haiku and haibun at the moment on our courses! 🙂

Alan

Josie Holford
April 10, 2020 12:12 pm

I like them all and I loved this one: “murmuration sound of pebbles in the backwash”.

CLARE POOLEY
CLARE POOLEY
April 12, 2020 2:21 am

I love these one-line haiku, Clive!

Alan Summers
April 12, 2020 10:08 am

In Japan, it’s interesting that haiku are (often) traditionally written as one line haiku in Japan.

“In adopting the tercet, those who write haiku in English are doing the exact opposite of those who write haiku in Japanese: practically all Japanese haiku writers use a monolinear form.”

“On Haiku” Hiroaki Sato (New Directions Publishing Corporation, isbn 9780811227414 (Dec 2018) from Haiku in Japanese and English: Form and Content

I don’t know if it was the intent, but the extra space between all the one line haiku, with the exception of the ‘sunshine after rain’ do succeed.

Very tightly crafted monoku, all are my favorites!

.

pink moon  shadows crowd the spaces

I like the ‘pink!’ sound of enunciating ‘pink moon’ and the assonance and visual of the letter ‘o’ in moon, shadows, and crowd, as well as the lisp in the ’s’ of spaces which quietly echoes beyond the word itself.

.

magpie nest  the blackthorn winter passes over

The haiku successfully combines two strong April seasonal references:

A Blackthorn Winter, in rural England, which is a spell of cold weather in early April which often coincides with the blossoming of the blackthorn in hedgerows. The pure white of the blackthorn blossom, which appears before the leaves, matches the snow or hoar frost covering the fields nearby. WIKIPEDIA

Magpies usually breed from two years old, although some may breed at one year. They build large, domed nests in thorny bushes or high up in tall trees. The female lays on average six greenish-blue eggs, heavily spotted with brown, in April, and incubates them for 18 to 19 days. Magpie Life Cycle – The RSPB

.

sunshine after rain the forest stretches

The simple opening words, which start the resonance of this poem, move into a second wonderful ‘phrase’ of ‘the forest stretches’.

The forest continues to hold a part of our imagination, as well as observation, from fairytales to lore of the land.

I’ve written about the forest many times, including these two, starting with my very own pink moon haiku!

.

phlox moon the different shades of its forest

Alan Summers
phlox moon/pink moon=April/Spring
Publication: Australian Haiku Society’s Spring Equinox Haiku String 2019 (September 2019)

And:

a dreaming forest busy as Hitchcock

Alan Summers
weird laburnum ed. Michael O’Brien (May 2019)

.

my backyard  a winter wren fills the space

I also like this one as I saw clearly the winter wren moving around in April, and it made me feel that my own ‘backyard was a winter wren’ for those few invaluable minutes.

.

murmuration  sound of pebbles in the backwash

A wonderful opening line, which could be starlings, and a response from the receding ripples or waves over pebbles.

.

sunrise  the cuckoo’s call fills the room

You are indeed fortunate to hear a cuckoo this Spring! I am envious.

.

I would love to feature at least two of these one-line (monoku) haiku in my Area 17 blog ongoing feature: “Travelling the single line of haiku – one line haiku / monoku / monostich”

Would it be possible to feature these two?

magpie nest  the blackthorn winter passes over

sunshine after rain the forest stretches

And if so, could you provide a brief note about each one?

warm regards,

Alan Summers
Call of the Page

Alan Summers
April 13, 2020 12:30 pm
Reply to  Clive Bennett

Hi Clive! 🙂

I won’t reveal my trade secrets too much, but I wanted you to bring a comment that might not otherwise happen under ‘analysis’ situations. 😉

“the one about ‘forests’ was written after rain swept up the valley obliterating the forest as I was watching for Goshawk from the viewpoint looking out over Exeter forest at Haldon. Just as quickly the rain cleared the sun came out and I could see the forest stretching for miles and miles and miles …”

I love how you’ve done a Ted Hughes and personified the goshawk! 🙂

“I also had in mind walking in Savernake forest in the rain – as the rain cleared and the sunbeams shone through the leaves onto the woodland floor the forest woke with the noises of rain dripping from the leaves and a myriad other sounds – creaks, groans, sighs of the great oaks ‘stretching’ in the warming sun – the song of the wood – the forest alive and joyful during the day but which can become frightening at night as ‘shadows crowd the spaces’ – an oblique reference to old Moley getting lost in the WildWood. And of course you don’t get shadows in spaces – or do you …”

Another great personal touch about the poem that the reader can breathe in too!

Thanks too about the magpie! We are fortunate in the UK, as in Australia, during September, the Aussie magpies can attack you for miles, as I found out, hiding in a forest for a few hours!

I always find that a lone magpie brings me joy! There is something joyful about a single magpie, as I’d often come across in Baydons Meadow in Chippenham. And then sometimes groups as large as six or seven. But a single magpie is special, and comforting of course.

wall hopping magpie
how can one be for sorrow
in any month

Alan Summers
The Other Bunny ed. Johannes S. H. Bjerg (2017)
from the haibun The House On The Hill (ekphrastic haibun)

I do like your haiku very much!!!

out of the mist
the gallows tree
one for sorrow

I’m one of those that don’t see birds through human eyes I guess:

fifth kind encounter
humans replace crows
as an idiom of murder

Alan Summers
Prune Juice : Journal of Senryu, Kyoka, Haibun & Haiga
Scifaiku feature Issue 21: March, 2017

and

dark news
the comfort
of crows

Alan Summers
First Credit: tinywords 15.1 (March 2015)
Collaborative Collection: The Comfort of Crows by Hifsa Ashraf & Alan Summers
(Velvet Dusk Publishing, December 2019)

“There is also the potential play on words in the use of the phrase ‘passes over’ and the symbolic reference to thorns both in the hedge and magpie nest. I mean no offence.”

In Japanese haikai (both pre-haiku days of Basho, and haiku from 1896 and moreso just pre and post WWII, and onwards) they have allusions, and nods to other literature, and symbolism, either to haikai patrons, or politics etc… 🙂

I often have underlying layers for any close reading to bring out:

passing cars
the gleam off bare wood
on Good Friday

Blithe Spirit 25.4 (2015)
From the haibun The Beat Is Back

Thanks for your notes and I will add them to the one line haiku article! 🙂

warm regards,

Alan
Call of the Page

Alan Summers
April 14, 2020 8:48 pm
Reply to  Clive Bennett

Gosh, which haiku from me? Or all of them? 🙂

Alan

Alan Summers
April 14, 2020 8:48 pm
Reply to  Clive Bennett

Yes, sounds good!

Alan

Alan Summers
April 18, 2020 2:00 pm
Reply to  Clive Bennett

Hi Clive,

Actually you have a lot of notes, it made me think perhaps you could be a guest blogger. Could you make it all ‘camera ready’ with photographs?

Examples:

The Area 17 Profile Poet Series: Hemapriya Chellappan
https://area17.blogspot.com/2020/04/the-area-17-profile-poet-series-hats.html

Amos White, Guest Blogger: Haiku Poetry and the Sense of Place
https://area17.blogspot.com/2013/08/amos-white-guest-blogger-haiku-poetry.html

Are you up to that!? 🙂

warm regards,
Alan
co-founder, Call of the Page
owner, Area 17

Alan Summers
April 19, 2020 12:16 am
Reply to  Clive Bennett

Great!

Alan
Call of the Page

Andrea Stephenson
April 12, 2020 8:36 pm

Lovely Clive, I particularly enjoy the forest stretching after the rain and the murmuration of the pebbles. Beautiful. I did try to comment on your last post – I love that feeling of the curtain in the morning light and the cuckoo calling – but it wouldn’t let me comment, I’m hoping this one will work!

Alan Summers
April 20, 2020 10:41 am

The Area 17 Profile Poet Series: Clive Bennett
https://area17.blogspot.com/2020/04/the-area-17-profile-poet-series-clive.html

Enjoy!

navasolanature
April 28, 2020 6:53 pm

Wow! One liners with poetic effect. Very skilful and that pink moon was special.

navasolanature
May 1, 2020 4:35 pm
Reply to  Clive Bennett

Yes, it is good to get them out of your head. I find myself with sleepless poetry nights!